Bleak sunlight shown through the dusty, half-opened blinds of his bedroom window on the second floor. Shattered glass sparkled on the floor from where a rock had flown through the window the previous night. The clock on the antique night stand read 6:01 am, a minute late. As he got out of bed his bones creaked in protest. In past years the coffee machine could be heard bubbling down stairs, but now all was silent. Soon a piercing whistle would fill the whole house, invading every dust covered inch.
The floor boards popped as he hobbled down the hallway, its walls lined with photographs of faces long gone. His eyes fell to the floor as he passed. Once in the kitchen, he put a kettle of water on the stove. He then bustled making his usual, Bran Flakes. There was no clean bowl in the cupboard, so he found one in the sink from the day before and swished a little water around in it. There were still some crusty, milk-soaked bran flakes stuck on the side, but he didn't mind. As he lowered himself into the only chair at the table, he heard a faint thud.
It took him a minute or two to unlatch the old dead bolt on the front door. These days it was a Herculean feat to get the lock to budge. Once he got the lock to turn, he opened the front door and found his morning paper waiting for him on the porch. For a moment he stood on the porch looking out at the deserted street that bared his name. A sudden shriek from within the house made him jump. By the time he walked back to the kitchen and fixed himself a cup of Earl Grey to go with his daily dose of fiber, his Bran Flakes were soggy.
3 comments:
Good job showing and not telling. I immediately knew he was old by the fact that his bones cracked and the fact that everything will be filled with a piercing whistle(he is going deaf?!). You subtely develop the character with details such as his choice of cereal. You paid close attention to Ms. Williams advice on using setting to develop your character. I think this is a great start to your story.
The last sentence is a nice image. Poor old man.....let alone with his brandflakes.
ok I was confused by he piercing whistle and the shrieks... are those symptoms of going deaf (as Alex said)?
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